Vehicular Move-aside

I’ve been having issues with vehicles lately. Not sure why. Not the kind of issues where my car breaks down or anything, just problems keeping my cool around other drivers. Friday something strange happened.

I pulled into the HEB grocery store and slowly made my way toward two open parking spots up near the entrance. As I approached and began to turn in, a man in a large black truck quickly approached from the other direction and made a face and gestured, as if to suggest that HE should get the spot. I pulled in anyway, because there were clearly two spots side by side. So he pulls in so close to my passenger side that there is no way he can get out of his truck without denting my car. He knows this and I know this. I glance over to find him glaring at me. Daring me to get out, walk into that store, because he is going to wreak havoc on my car door, I’m sure of it. Well, I remain seated, take out my cell phone, check email, check Instagram, check Twitter. I glance over. He’s still glaring.

You know what, Trader Joe’s is a great grocery store too. I start my car up, mouthing curse words all the while, and back out. I leave him there in all his glory to get whatever he came for. Meanwhile, I feel compelled to travel a few miles to get the dinner items I need, just to save the finish on my car.

Last night we had some friends over that we hadn’t seen in a really long time. They parked their car out front of the house, a little more in the road than I would have, but they pulled half onto the grass. In my dream last night, I kept hearing cars going by the house and honking. When I looked out the kitchen window, it became apparent that it was our friends’ parked car that was upsetting these travelers. I stood in the window with my arms up and the expression of WHAT’S THE PROBLEM PEOPLE?” Of course no one saw me there, but I was very theatrical in my dream.

I mentioned to my husband that I had had several instances on the road lately where someone does something really stupid, like pull out RIGHT in front of me when there is no one behind me for blocks. I have the lovely privilege of my contained space to sputter, and curse at these people, who I refer to as dumb *ucks. Although I don’t prefer to speak like this in public, in my car, I am a loose canon when it comes to these drivers. In my vestibule of vitriol I really give ’em the business and feel sure that they will not want to come any where close to me, or pull a stunt like that ever again. Now, if they should happen to see me in their rear view mirrors, or up close and personal, they would see me hugging the steering wheel looking straight ahead, lips sputtering, and would most likely think, “Now there’s a little old lady with a real problem!” and they’d probably just continue on their way without giving their driving another thought. Worst case, they might even blame ME for whatever just went down. That’s the new generation for ya.

Yes, these vehicular instances are starting to get on my nerves. I sometimes blame the Californians for moving here with their little gas economy vehicles that inch up on your bumper to let you know you COULD drive a little faster. They come up on you like a hornet and buzz there for a bit until the exhaust knocks them silly and then they go on to bug the next person trying to get home safely. Usually their cars are so small you can hardly see them behind you. Which can be problematic should you decide to change lanes at the exact same time they do….then once again, horns will honk, words fly, and each will blame the other for driving like an idiot.

Maybe I need to take a break from the roads today. There are plenty of things to accomplish around here anyway. Maybe I will wash the car and ready myself for my next highway mission.


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